Not Who I Once Was

The other day while checking out music websites and upcoming concerts, I happened upon an old video interview of my all-time favorite singer, James Taylor.  I couldn't ascertain the date of the video, but James was very young--I would guess in his early twenties. I grew up listening to his music, so it is strange for me to realize that at the time of this interview, I would have either been an infant or perhaps not even born yet.  It feels like I grew up with him, though in actuality, he'd been around a while.  I had never seen this particular interview, and it stunned me how totally different James seemed in it compared to how he appears in current-day interviews and shows.  The young man in this video was no one I have ever encountered in concert or any other form of media.  In it, his insecurity as a person and a musician are palpable.  He seems painfully unsure of nearly every question posed to him.  He speaks with uncertainty of his success and whether it would even be fully realized. His humility is endearing in the video, but it is actually rather hard to watch.  You just want to grab this young man, shake him lovingly, and say, "Don't you know how wonderfully talented and valuable you are to God and humankind?"  You can see the depression and deeply-hidden pain there, as well.  The few times he smiles in it, it feels forced as he exhibits such a lack of confidence.  He also acts extremely uncomfortable and mistrusting of the interviewer.  He is oddly somewhat withdrawn at times in the interview, and appears fearful and even sad.  The James Taylor I have seen in concerts too numerous to count, and whom I have watched on television every chance I get, is nothing like the person I watched in this old video.  It is so cool to see what an amazing, confident, grateful, cheerful person he is today, and be able to look back on who he was and see all the amazing things God did for him throughout his life and career (and is still doing).

I recall many years ago talking about James Taylor with my husband's aunt, who I adore, and who has also been a huge, lifelong fan of James.  She is a generation older than I, and attended U.C. Berkeley in the Sixties.  Throughout his entire ascension to fame and well beyond, she has watched James as a loyal, devoted supporter.  Over twenty years ago, she copied articles from the Sixties about him that she had saved, and gave them to me (I still have them).  I remember reading the articles and lapping up every word like a curious dog.  In many of them, James shared of his battle with serious depression and his drug abuse in coping with it.  He spoke honestly and in detail of the day he checked himself into a mental hospital.  I remember being totally captivated with these old articles and thinking, "What an amazing guy--to share of his life so transparently with the world...so fearlessly."  As I watched this young man in this old video, I recalled the history I had read about him so many years ago.  Being the colossal weeper I can be, I shed a few tears watching it and seeing his pain in action.  It's much different to view something like that than to just read about it.  It saddened me to recall all the misery through which he walked due to doubting himself, lacking faith, and lacking trust in God.  Having the hindsight to know that it all works out for the best makes it even more difficult to watch.  It feels so unnecessary that he had to walk through life for a time feeling no real assurance, purpose, or joy.  All the negative, hurtful things with which he was dealing and facing may have been warranted at the time, but when you look at how his life turned out, it seems like such a waste.  I wept thinking about how that is really the story of all of us, too.  We start out our lives (and each day, for that matter) not knowing how it's all going to play-out.  We either believe and trust God, or we don't.  And God looks down on us and sees our pain and doubts. He feels it all and longs to shake us, because He knows how it all turns out.  He sees us for so much more than we appear to be, and He longs for us to see and know Him for Who He really is--a God that can be trusted.  We all make life so much harder than it has to be at different points in our own journeys.  But we all have to walk our own paths and work through our individual struggles, and sometimes life just hurts.  God understands this and He doesn't condemn us for it.  In fact, the Bible says that, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit," (Ps. 34:18).  I personally have found this to be nothing but true.  In my moments of deep pain and loss of hope, God always shows up--maybe not on my time-frame, but He shows up when it is absolutely necessary.  If only we could trust Him all the while knowing that He has the plan all worked out for us.  How much easier life would be!  We must always remember that He knows us better than we do, and He loves us more than we could ever hope to love others or ourselves.  He is so intimately acquainted and concerned with us, even the hairs on our heads are numbered with Him.  That is some serious love, care, and concern.  And that is some major sovereignty. 

So I stopped for a moment and I gave praise to God while watching that old interview of my beloved JT.   I praised Him for using James' pain to prompt wonderful songs of healing, love, joy, and peace that have passed down through generations and given great delight and peace to millions of people.  It amazes me how God loves us so very much that He even brings purpose to painful things (Ro. 8:28).  I praised God for what He has done to bless James' life. I praised Him for how monumental his music has been in mine--how it taught me to harmonize when I was only three years old.  I praised Him for all the joy and special memories that I have attached to James' music throughout my life with my husband, Matt, and our daughter, Allie.  To this day I can't ski down a mountain without having my favorite JT songs playing over and over in my head through my ear buds. I can envision my little girl blazing ski trails ahead of me down the mountain in time to those songs.  They just suit the occasion of that sport, with its vast beauty and serene moments.  I praised God for seeing James through all his hardships and proving Himself to him.  I prayed that James would know God and Christ personally, if he doesn't already, and that one day, he'd be leading praise and worship in heaven where I could hear that unique, pure, crystal clear voice forever (and perhaps, be his backup singer from time to time--pleeeaasssse, Father?!)!

But I also praised God that just as James is not the man he used to be, I, too, am not who I once was.  When you look back over the course of your life at all the things God has brought you through, and who you were as a young, dumb kid, it is truly humbling to realize that He has been there the entire time.  Even in the times when you thought He wasn't.  Even in the times when you didn't want Him there due to pride or shame alike.  I thought about the quote by Joyce Meyer that states: 

“I may not be where I need to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be.” 

I love that quote. It reminds me to trust God with everything in life because He was there in the past, He is here with me in the present, and He knows my future.  He sees me for who I was, all that I am, and who I will become--and He loves me in spite of it all.  With His mercy, grace, and strength, and If we know Him as our Lord and Savior, we can trust that He is there, changing us for the better--every single day.  Even when it seems nothing is changing, He is there working. So there really is no place for fear, hopelessness, or depression in our lives if and when we fully believe, love, and trust God.  If you find yourself in the desert at this point in your journey, don't despair.  God is with you.  He sees the future and He knows it's all going to be okay, if you'll only trust in Him and rely on Him.  Even in death, He will be there.  God said it; I believe it; that settles it.  Praise be to God.  

Corroborating Scripture (many of these are my personal faves and have brought great comfort and encouragement to me in tough times):

Psalm 139:16, "You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in Your book!" (Great verse versus abortion, in my view~timely with the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade this week)!

Isaiah 46:10, [God said,] "I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'"

Lamentations 3:21-23, "This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's loving-kindness indeed never ceases, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." 

Philippians 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  

Psalm 121:1-3, "I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip …" (Great snow skiing verse)! 

Psalm 139:8, "If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there."
Psalm 143:8, "Let me hear Your loving-kindness in the morning; for I trust in You; teach me the way in which I should walk; for to You I lift up my soul."
Psalm 27:14, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."
Psalm 71:8, "All day long I'll praise and honor You, O God, for all that You have done for me."
Romans 8:18, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." 
Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Psalm 48:14, "For this God is our God for ever and ever: He will be our guide even unto death."

Again, God said it; I believe it; that settles it. Amen!

Resolute Resolutions

With the New Year comes the prompting (or temptation) to consider new resolutions or, "goals," for ourselves.  Much discussion has taken place in the past two weeks via all media outlets regarding New Year's resolutions.  If you're like me, it becomes wearisome listening to all the talk and advice given about how to stick to resolutions and stay motivated.  It becomes very trite to constantly hear how we, as obese Americans, need to make, "weight-loss," our top priority (tell us something we don't know).  They go on and on about what the most typical resolutions and failures are--and we aren't surprised that, "weight-loss," is number one for both accounts (especially when the New Year comes after Thanksgiving and Christmas--ah hem).  However, I was surprised to see in a recent poll that 65% of Americans claim they did not make any resolutions for 2013.  I would have guessed that the majority of us did (or perhaps we're just not admitting it for fear of the admission of failure)! 

This got me thinking about my own resolutions--those from 2012, as well as those I've made for 2013.   It was both interesting and sad to me that my resolutions for this year aren't much different than those from last year.  I've concocted some typical, "surface" goals and some deeper, personal ones, as well:  I want to read my Bible more;  I want to be a light and witness for Christ more;  I want to love others more;  I want to lose a few pounds from all my Christmas gluttony;  I want to be less afraid of everything;  I want to keep up with my running and train for a few races;  I want to purge my home from unneeded clutter and tend to some DIY projects;  I want to stop being so self-deprecating and "supplicant," in order to view and speak of myself as a daughter of The King (a wise, true friend recently informed me of this needed change);  in line with that, I want to only seek to please God--not people;  and, I want to continue to work on my music and hopefully find myself in a satisfactory situation with it.  Not a great deal different than last year.  This realization was a depressing one at first.  I felt a bit defeated that most of those same resolutions were held for 2012, and that I once again find myself needing to reiterate them.  Then the really negative thoughts came:  no wonder the majority of people don't make resolutions.  It's the same old thing--over and over.  We just keep failing anyway, so what's the point?!

I prayed about this and my stinky attitude fervently that day.  Shed a few tears of frustration even.  After doing so, and just sitting and pondering it all in silence, I felt my Lord and Father, the Best Friend I've ever had, remind me of this truth:  that in our lives, diligence, maintenance, and repetitive faithfulness are attributes and requirements for success and true joy of any kind.  He reminded me that no one ever truly, "arrives" in life.  Even those at the top [of whatever their particular game] have to continually step-it-up and maintain their pace, determination, and focus or they will slip.  Things always need realigned in our lives and require repeated attention.  Some stuff we need to just give over to Him and get rid of it.  Anything good in life has to be maintained and given conscious hard work and effort.  No matter what our unique goals and personal needs are, we all have to "keep on keepin'-on" or the slippery slope will ensue.  Therefore, it became apparent to me that my resolutions for 2014 will more than likely consist of all those from 2013--and this is not only necessary, it is good.  We are basically given choices every day--we can be a fighter or a quitter; we can be a cheerful worker or a slothful sluggard; we can be consumed with joyfulness or fall prey to bitterness; we can be trusting or doubtful; we can be lovingly merciful or coldly unforgiving; we can have a heart of thankfulness or a jealous, ungrateful spirit; we can bask in hope or be ruled by fear; we can possess faith or be paralyzed by worry; we can pray with endurance for a dream or we can give-up in meaningless existence; we can look back with sorry regret or we can look forward with a renewed vision and purpose; we can look down or around at the difficult struggles or we can look up to our Father, recognizing His steadfast Sovereignty; we can be reconcilers or we can be dividers; we can hold-on to familiar hurts or we can let go and be finally free.  We have to make good and wise choices every day, every year, in order to avoid that slippery slope.

I am reminded of a funny quote I once heard. I cannot recall who said it, but I do remember that it was a famous female on a talk show.  She was discussing how easy it is to get up each day and be instantly defeated with her negative thoughts.  She said she has overcome this perpetual problem in her life by asking herself, as soon as her feet hit the floor each morning, "Okay.  It's a new day.  Am I gonna be a hot dog or a weenie today?!"  Love it.  That's essentially our choice.  Are we going to believe that our lives have purpose and act on that belief, or will we succumb to faithless fear?  Will we believe that even the monotonous, tedious tasks, from which none of us our exempt, truly do have value and meaning in our lives?  Will we choose to hear and believe the still small voice of God telling us of His love for us and of our great need for Him each day, or will we choose to do it our own way and in our own limited strength?  It never ceases to amaze me how much louder the negative lies in our ears are than the positive truths.  Why does the enemy [and the world] have to speak to us in a scream and the Lord speaks to us in quiet stillness?  I guess I know the answer to that:  truth and light don't come easily.  Nothing of eternal, real value does.  That's yet another daily resolution or mission that God gives us--seeking His truth and light.  And it, too, requires repetitive, hard effort.  

I also love the following quote:  Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says, 'Oh crap.  She's up.'  Great stuff.  Another wonderful quote, which I have used in a prior blog but that's worth mentioning here, is the one written supposedly by a man named, Frank Outlaw (however, it is often attributed to Gandhi):  Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions.  Watch your actions, they become habits.  Watch your habits, they become your character.  Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.  To be the kind of woman who the enemy fears, and who arrives at her destiny with a noble character, requires resolved repetition, diligence, and faithfulness.  To be the kind of Christian, wife, mother, daughter, and friend that I want to be is going to require resolute endurance and repeated hard work toward the same purposes, over and over.  It necessitates an accurate perception of the fact that we never "arrive" here on earth, because when we honestly think the day will come when we can stop working at things of value, we'll find ourselves disappointed and disillusioned.  We'll be inclined to give-up.  In looking up the meaning of the word, "resolute," I read, "Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering."  What a perfect way to view our resolutions in order to be the people we desire to be at our true, "day of arrival"--our only day of arrival.  The day we meet our Maker...the day we meet Christ. 

Great Scriptures for Resolute Resolutions (taken from the NIV):

Perseverance...

Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Ephesians 6:16-19, "In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.  Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the Gospel"...

Romans 5:2-5, "Through Whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us."

James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:12, "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

Revelation 3:10, "Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth."

Hebrews 6:11-15, "We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for Him to swear by, He swore by Himself, saying, 'I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.' And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."

Waiting on the Lord...

Psalm 37:7, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Isaiah 40:31, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

God's Timing is Perfect...
Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Colossians 1:11-12, "Being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, Who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light."

Forgetting the Past...

Philippians 3:13-14, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Hebrews 12:1-2, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Pioneer and Perfecter of Faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Romans 8:37-39, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Marital Milestones

My husband and I just celebrated our Silver Anniversary on Dec. 26, 2012.  It was a momentous occasion for us and a milestone we were delighted to reach.  People always remark about how fast time goes and how milestones such as these sort of sneak up on a person.  It is absolutely true.  When I look back over the past quarter of a century, it truly doesn't seem possible that we've reached this juncture in our life together already.  It feels as if it was just yesterday that we had our 10th anniversary and were soaking up sun and sand in Cancun, Mexico to celebrate.

A few people have recently asked me about our anniversary and what I believe are the main reasons Matt and I have stayed together and made our marriage work happily.  I always immediately give God all the credit and glory for it, and for obvious and good reasons.  It doesn't take a brilliant mind to realize and understand that marriage is a risky business and a pretty difficult investment in which many do not succeed.  Those who do profit and succeed know it is by the grace of God that they have (or at least, they should know).  But if I had to actually list the top three reasons we've "made it" to this destination, I would say it is for the following:  compromise, forgiveness, and love.  Many would have a different list, but after pondering it for a while, this list seems to cover the main components of marriage pretty broadly yet concisely.

To further extrapolate on those three items, let me begin by discussing the first--compromise.  This one is by far the most complex of the three because it encompasses many things, such as: communication, selflessness, understanding, listening, generosity, and honesty, to name just a few.  Successful compromise requires that a lot of relational skills be harnessed and practiced on a regular basis.  It takes years to get good at it, and I believe this is where any problems in marriage always begin.  This is the area where forgiveness and love get challenged.  If you've got compromise issues in your marriage, eventually the facilitation of forgiveness and love likewise starts to suffer.  Compromise requires an immense amount of work.  It is necessary in the small areas of your marriage, as well as the big ones.  It also doesn't work without the other two components of forgiveness and love.  No one can truly compromise on any matter without forgiving or letting go of their own "stuff" and without loving someone else enough to want to meet their desires or needs above their own.  So compromise flat out won't work without the other two items being utilized.  All three are extremely interrelated.

Forgiveness has been a crucial facet in our marriage, too.  Regardless of whether a full compromise has been reached, Matt and I have had to just forgive stuff over the years--little stuff and big stuff alike.  Sometimes therein is where the compromise has occurred.  You just make the choice to let it go and leave it.  Many times this is simply because of your love for one another.  Other times, it is in direct submission to God and what He says about marriage and how to make it work.  But nevertheless, forgiveness is essential no matter what your reason for giving it is.  Since no one is perfect and we are all flawed, mistake-capable people, forgiveness is obviously going to be something you have to get used to doling out in large quantities if you're going to keep your marriage together. A refusal to forgive will get you at least one of two things in your marriage:  it will deteriorate the happiness of the marriage, or it will end it (and it's important to mention that, "happiness," in marriage should be expected to ebb and flow pretty regularly--anyone who expects otherwise is setting them self up for great disappointment). It is interesting to just look at the word, "forgive."  It is basically a compound word that connotates that you are letting go of something and giving something to someone else.  The online Merriam-Webster dictionary states that, "forgive," means, "to give up resentment of or claim to requital for."  Dictionary.com states that, "forgive," means, "to grant pardon for or remission of."  So sure enough--forgiving means to let go of your issue, and simultaneously, give an excuse and pardon to someone else.  It's a two-fold deal, which makes it a tricky, hard one.  You aren't just letting go of something, you're giving something.

Last on the list, is love.  I like to think of it as the good stuff in marriage--the fun stuff.  This is the icing on the cake.  It is what makes all the hard work and gritty, monotonous, self-depriving effort in marriage seem worthwhile and look beautiful as a whole--even if it doesn't at the time.  It is also the basis for why you do all that hard work.  Love should be at the foundation of all the other stuff we do for our spouse and our marriage--it is the motivation for compromising and forgiving.  If you think about a layered cake, the icing between each layer and over the top can hide a multitude of sins and issues with the cake itself. Perhaps one layer was too thin or too thick. Maybe it is lop-sided in a couple of places.  Perhaps it is hiding a crack.  The icing covers it all and makes it look unified.  It holds it all together with flare and even creative, distinct beauty.  This is what love does on the cake of marriage and on the layers of your life together with your spouse. It covers all the issues and holds it together.  I think of the verse in 1 Peter 4:8, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  So true.  Without love, all you'll see in your spouse (or anyone else, for that matter), are the flaws.  Without love, all you'll want is what you want. 

As we reach this distinct, special point in our marriage, it has never become more apparent to me how much we need God in order to do any of those three aforementioned things (compromise, forgive, and love).  There is nothing compromising, forgiving, or loving about us when we are in our natural, raw state as human beings.  God is the One who teaches us and gives us those attributes so that we can live beyond ourselves and for others.  You may say, "No, my mother or father taught me how to do those things."  Well, if anyone taught you how to be compromising, forgiving, or loving, I guarantee you they learned it directly or indirectly from God and His Word, or from someone else who did!  If you don't know God, and haven't accepted His free gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ, my first advice to you for a successful marriage is to take care of that business first.  Going it alone isn't going to be an easy path.  Matt and I would both tell you this is the real first step to a happy marriage.  God has to be there and He has to be number one in your life.  Without His help, wisdom, and the power He gives upon our recognition for His grace and salvation, you will be going it alone. 

As Matt and I face the next 25 years of marriage together, I know we will have trying times just as we have already had.  We will have great ones, too.  But the trying ones are important to our growth and strengthening as a couple.  Just as Zechariah 13:9 states, "I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on My Name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'These are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'"  Being put through the fires of life is no fun--it can be a painful, faith-rocking experience.  But the product and end results are beautiful.  We can honestly say that God has tried us as, "silver," as we celebrate this Silver Anniversary.  Now, we pray He will purify us as gold, and that we will have the joy of one day reaching our Golden 50th Anniversary. Amen.

Auld Lang Syne

"Happy New Year," and, "Happy, 'Auld Lang Syne,'" to you all!  A few nights ago on New Year's Eve, I enjoyed a fun, late night out with my husband in celebration.  We partook of our usual enjoyments--dinner out (with the borderline gluttonous consumption of beef, of course) and live music.  At midnight, the traditional song, "Auld Lang Syne," was not played, but I was reminded of it due to the occasion.  Being a devout film-lover, I also recalled a scene from the old movie, "When Harry Met Sally."  At the end of the flick, while standing in the middle of an extravagant New Year's Eve party, Harry (Billy Crystal), tells Sally (Meg Ryan), of his love for her in a grand and romantic climax.  If I'm remembering accurately, Sally breaks down in tears, admits her love in return, and they seal the conversation with a passionate kiss in true, "Rom Com" form.  It's all very predictable and cliche`, but who are we kidding?  We love it and it sells.  The scene ends with the song, "Auld Lang Syne," playing cheerfully in the background.  Harry comments comically to Sally that he doesn't know what the song means, and for his entire life he has never known!  She agrees, but says she knows it has something to do with, "old friends."  Again, tear-jerker moment for those of us who cry at sappy commercials and sentimental greeting cards. 

Why I pulled this scene out of the archives of my mind I do not know--haven't watched it in years.  But it hit me that I, too, have no idea what all the words to that old song are or what they truly mean.  In doing some quick research, I discovered that the song was mostly written by a Scotsman named, Robert Burns, in 1788 (apparently some of the lyrics, namely verse one, were "collected" or borrowed from James Watson's version in 1711).  But Burns was a famous, beloved poet and lyricist who has long been named, "the national poet of Scotland."  His poetry is regarded worldwide, and many have said that in homes where good literature is in small quantity, even a copy of Burns' poetry sits on a shelf with The Bible.  The title, "Auld Lang Syne," when translated to English, means, "old long since," or "days gone by."  It is loosely translated as, "for old times."  The complete words to the traditional old tune are as follows:

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind,
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne.

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne...

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup,
and surely I’ll buy mine,
And we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.


We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine,
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot, 
since auld lang syne.


We two have paddled in the stream,  
from morning sun till dine,
But seas between us broad have roared,
since auld lang syne.


And there’s a hand my trusty friend,
and give us a hand of thine,
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

On New Year's Eve at midnight, you typically only hear verse one and the chorus.  But in reading all of the song's lyrics, clearly the tune is about, old times, old friends, good times, hard times, and remembering it all.  My husband, Matt, and I, have a tradition on New Year's Eve (or sometime around the New Year) of sharing what our greatest memories of the passing year were, as well as, the most difficult memories.  I think the reason we have always done that has a great deal to do with the lyrics to this old song.  There is something special and important about, "remembering."  It is also a very healing and good thing to share and recognize the good and the bad through which God has brought you in a given year.  It gives you a great deal of joy and thankfulness, as well as, a realization that time goes by very quickly.  It is also a great trust and faith-builder to look back and see what God has done in your life.  Recalling even the trying times through which He has brought you gives you a great sense of His trustworthiness and faithfulness.  Many say that New Year's Eve is just another day.  This is true when you look at it from a basic calendar perspective.   However, the passing from one year to the next is an important time-stamp, in my view.  The way I see it, if the Good Lord has seen fit to let me see another year, that's a pretty big deal.  It warrants some celebration, reflection, and gratitude.

As I look back over the past year and the friendships and memories with which God has richly blessed me, I marvel at His generosity.  It is easy to see the negative in our lives when you're in the threshold of daily living and the ritualistic grind.  We all have struggles and prayer items for which we are still, "in waiting."  But when we take the time to honestly focus on the blessings, the positive, and the overall hand of God in our lives over the course of a given year, it's impossible to not lift up praise to Him.  Furthermore, and most importantly, when we ponder the life-altering truth of what Christ did for us on the cross in His, "Auld Lang Syne," it becomes easy to sing with cheer, "We'll take a cup of kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne."  Happy 2013 to old friends and new! And may God bless and keep you always in His will until we meet again!

Great verses for the New Year:

1 Peter 1:3, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..."

Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!"

Lamentations 3:22-23, "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
  

To the Survivors of Newtown, CT

I know I just stated in my previous blog post that I wouldn't be writing until 2013.  But I want to briefly remark about the events of last Friday.  God just laid something on my heart again from the book I just read this morning.  In this book, The Purpose of Christmas, Rick Warren shares the full "Serenity Prayer."  I never knew there was more to that poem and prayer than the first few lines.  What a shame that it is rarely quoted and printed in its entirety--the rest is pretty great, too.  The events of last Friday have shocked and appalled me on a new level.  I keep thinking of all the children, teachers, and staff who survived, and all the hurting families of the ones who were senselessly murdered last Friday.  I pray the following "Serenity Prayer" for them all.  What a horrific thing to endure at Christmastime. 

To the survivors:  God is with you, even if it feels He has abandoned you.  He will make this right, even if it isn't in your timing.  I pray the Emmanuel of Christmas makes Himself known to you all--to each and every person involved, affected, and hurt by this incident.  The "Emmanuel" of Christmas, the "God with us," is exactly what you need and deserve at this time. Blessings and healing to you all.

Signed,
Stephanie Teagarden
Former Educator and Blogger

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.  Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next."

The Purpose of Christmas

I did not intend for this blog post to become a book review, but I just spent two hours reading the book by Rick Warren entitled, The Purpose of Christmas.  Rick Warren is the author of the #1 NY Times Bestseller, The Purpose Driven Life.  This book, though an easy, quick-read, is quite meaty in substance.  It truly blessed and helped me refocus on the "reason for the season."  It also convicted and encouraged me on some personal issues with which I have been afflicted and searching for peace.  I highly recommend it, and though it is a crazy-busy time of year, it will be the best two hours you spend this month.  I've read several fast-reads such as this, and can honestly say that this one is the best of the best.  If you feel in any way that your life is lacking or void of anything on any level at all, read this book.  Even if you feel your life isn't measuring up to all you want it to be, at no blame to you--read this book!  As for the credibility of the author, Rick Warren was quoted as being one of Forbe's "100 Most Powerful," (and was the only one listed there who was characterized as, "trustworthy").  He was also named as one of Newsweek's "15 People Who Make America Great," one of Time's "100 Most Influential People in the World," and called one of, "America's 25 Best Leaders" in U.S. News & World Report.  So you can feel assured that reading it will be worthwhile, even if you don't trust my opinion.

I used to be one of those women who at Christmastime, was about as bound-up in nerves and anxiety as a girl can get.  My Christmas "do list" robbed me of nearly every joy of the season.  I would put immense pressure on myself to do so many unnecessary things that by the time the actual day rolled around, I was completely exhausted, grouchy, and void of any Christmas "spirit" or meaning (the perfectionist in me would trump better judgment).  I recall many painful moments spent sitting in church during the Christmas season asking God to forgive me for having such a lousy attitude during the celebration of His Son's birth.  I look back on that now and shudder.  Why could I not "get" it?  Why did I think I had to be the "wonder woman of Christmas" when all God ever expected or wanted of me at Christmastime was to acknowledge and celebrate His Son--to relish the free gift of salvation that He gave me in Him?  

The answer to that question is a simple one--societal pressure.  Our culture lays a standard of expectations on us at Christmas to which no one can meet (or at least, most can't).  Expectations of buying the perfect gifts (and plenty of them for people who need nothing to begin with), baking the perfect food (again, do any of us need to be eating ridiculously huge portions of rich, heavily-carbed, sugared food?), decorating the perfect tree and house, and the list goes on and on.  None of these things are expectations given by God, and when we place higher value and importance on them than we do on celebrating and recognizing the Savior's birthday, we end up empty and void of anything purposeful or meaningful at Christmastime.  I lived it personally for too many years.

Matt and I have had a busy month.  We began December attending his 100th Annual KLA Convention in Wichita (so I lost an entire week to prepare for Christmas right there).  Then we were both sick prior and afterward (so I lost some time there due to not feeling so well and playing "catch-up" from being down with illness).  Then, I spent five nights total (in rehearsals and shows) singing in my church's annual Live Music Christmas Light Show (which is very important to me and is really the only ministry I do at Christmas now).  Suffice it to say, we don't even have a tree up yet.  Am I concerned about this?  No, not one bit.  Would the Stephanie of say, five years ago have been okay with this?  No, not at all.  She would have been hyperventilating, making every one around her miserable, and certainly wouldn't have spent two hours reading some Christian Christmas book while sipping leisurely on coffee, as I did this morning.

So what has changed with me?  Some would say I have gotten old, unmotivated, and lazy.  Some might even characterize my lack of concern at being unprepared for Christmas (by the world's standards) as apathetic and complacent.  You could even suggest that I'm depressed or acting a scrooge.  But honestly, I don't think I've ever felt more peaceful, blessed, and relaxed in the month of December as I do this year.  I am simply sick and tired of being pushed into the mold of killing myself at Christmas.  I am tired of overspending, overexerting, and under-appreciating Christ.  I am tired of giving gifts to people who need nothing when there are children all over the world who are starving, homeless, shoeless, naked, and dying.  I am weary of feeling so empty due to being physically drained by the time the actual day of celebration arrives.  We women place too much emphasis on stuff that just doesn't matter at Christmas--stuff that is not eternal or necessary.  I hear it all the time--women complaining, stressing, and grieving over their "do lists" and the fact that they feel drained of any real Christmas joy.  Actually, I heard it come out of over 10 mouths just this past week, so I know I am not alone.  And all the undo stress we place upon ourselves (or that societal pressure places upon us), doesn't even scratch the surface of what is going on with most of us this time of year.  Many people have deeper issues during the holidays--things like dealing with family members who are not, "easy" to be around; prayer requests that we feel God just isn't hearing; personal struggles and battles on which we feel we'll never get a handle.  Our list of hopes and expectations is pretty high overall.  It is just a lot of stuff to face, and deep down we all have this Chevy Chase, "Christmas Vacation" mentality that we want the "perfect Christmas," which essentially means we want the perfect life.  This just sets us up for a guaranteed disappointment.  The truth is, Christmas isn't about us or anything in our current life--it is about Christ.  I think this is what has changed with me.  I finally "get it."  Christmas is about Christ.  I always knew this in my head, but my heart was not embracing that truth.  I was still failing to place Christ first at Christmas, and instead, would overload myself with the world's and other's expectations for me during the season (as well as, my own, which were the heaviest of all).  Then I'd pile on top of that, all my own personal desires and needs, hoping that this year would be "different."  I had a major rebellion and personal upheaval with this a few years ago--and it was a much-needed one. 

Rick Warren's meaty little book lays this all out so beautifully.  For the sake of time (yeah, yeah, I know, this is already really lengthy), the book talks about how there are really only three purposes for Christmas to solve our three greatest needs.  The first purpose is that it is a time for salvation--realizing our deep need to be saved from something, by Someone bigger than us, and for something meaningful.  The second purpose is that it is a time for reconciliation--between us and God (through Christ), and between us and others (even if that means we only get peace and reconciliation in our own hearts from God concerning the hurts, brokenness, and battles we have with others).  The third purpose is that it is a time for celebration--celebrating Christ, Who He is, and what He came to do for us.   Rick Warren discusses how if we fail to recognize, accept, and unwrap these three purposes for Christmas, these three indescribable gifts (2 Cor. 9:15), our Christmas will be a guaranteed colossal disappointment.  I couldn't agree more. 

I wish I could lay out all the notes I took as I read this book, but it would not only ruin the book for you, you'd be reading this blog post for half an hour at least!  Instead, I will just mention my favorite points and end with some Scriptures that Rick Warren cited that really blessed me.  I wish you all a very, Merry Christmas and a blessed time of salvation, reconciliation, and thus, celebration of the birth of our Only Hope and Lasting Gift--Jesus Christ.  Thanks to all my faithful readers who have taken the plunge with me in this blog this past five months.  I prayed a special blessing on each of you this morning, and I sincerely wish you all a richly blessed 2013.  I will not be posting until the New Year, as I need to focus on Christ and my family during the season.  But I hope you will continue to journey through life with me next year and I will do my best not to bore you...God bless you all!

Key Points and Scriptures on Rick Warren's, The Purpose of Christmas:

*Christmas is for SALVATION (by God, through Christ, from hell, and for a purpose)!

Luke 2:11, "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord."

Ephesians 2:8-10, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Romans 6:23, ^"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

1 John 4:10, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

*Christmas is for RECONCILIATION (between us and God, & us and others)! 

Luke 2:14, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests."

 

James 3:18, "Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness."

Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

2 Cor. 5:18, "All this is from God, Who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation"... 

Proverbs 13:10, "Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You."

*Christmas is for CELEBRATION (of the free gift and freedom given us by the CHRIST of CHRISTmas)!

Luke 2:10, "But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.'"

Psalms 118:21-24, "I will give You thanks, for You answered me; You have become my salvation. The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes.  The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad."

John 8:36, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

2 Cor. 9:15, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" 

 

 

 

Timeless and True

My husband just celebrated another birthday a few days ago.  Due to having a lot of recent stress with work (good stress, but still, stress) and being pretty sick with an upper respiratory infection from "you know where" for a week, I could tell that the coming of another age-marker was pretty low on the totem pole for him.  Once you're "in" your forties, birthdays pretty much stink.  But as they always say, it's better than the alternative!

One thing that pretty much made Matt's day was the news that our little niece, Wylie, had accepted Christ as her personal Savior, ON his birthday!  What a delight it was to hear that our precious little loved one had made the most important decision of her life at the ripe ol' age of five (same age as our Allie was).  Matt was elated.  We both discussed how we would never forget that Wylie prayed that prayer on his birthday.  Pretty great gift to get on your birthday.  The Bible says that the angels and all of heaven rejoice when even one person comes to Christ.  We seriously felt that, too!

We went on with our evening to enjoy a basic birthday celebration--dining with our daughter and her husband at one of Matt's favorite restaurants of all time, "Coco Bolo's."  Coco B.'s, as our family calls it, is a high-end, southwest cantina of sorts in Manhattan, KS ("Manhappiness," as our K-State friends call it).   They serve the most delectable entrees, and the beef dishes in particular are sinfully scrumptious (thus, it's one of my beef-man's faves).  Our family loves Mexican/southwest food, so it is a good fit for us right away.  Matt ordered his favorite, the carne asada, and all was well with the world.

But it was really just another day for him.  I could see it on his face.  I felt some guilt for not making a lot of hoopla and glitz over the whole thing, like I typically try to do.  We have both been ill, have had a lot on our individual plates (and I'm not talking about the meal at Coco B.'s, though that was also true), and with Christmas rapidly approaching, Matt's birthday kind of became an after-thought this year.  I hate that--poor guy.  He likes to teasingly declare quite dramatically (with his fake, ornery grin) that he always gets the shaft with having a birthday two weeks prior to Christmas.  So throughout our marriage I have tried my level best to make that distinctly untrue, but I failed miserably this year.  However, my T-bone (the nickname given to him by our card party friends) never complains.  He is a man who defines contentment, and I am richly blessed.

I found myself taking some moments to really look at him on his special day though.  He looks so great--heads above others his age.  And he carried so much stress caring for a wife and baby at eighteen and getting himself through college in three and half years.  He is such a hard-worker and strives to do his best in all his does, regardless of where he is and whom he is serving.  In looking at him and giving him this affirmation that night, I recalled a precious conversation I had years ago with one of my fellow band-mates at church.  He was sharing about the fact that no matter what age his wife hits, she still looks the same to him as the day he married her--and in fact, even more beautiful.  He shared with me that though she felt insecure at times in the "weathering process" she was experiencing in getting older, he truly viewed her as more beautiful than when he had married her.  He remarked about how it is a neat blessing from God when a couple ages together and yet still sincerely view each other as the people they married.  It's as if the wrinkles, loose skin, age spots, and other frailties aren't even there. I pondered this and have many times since the conversation.  How I long for this to be true.  I mean, I've never questioned my love for Matt or whether I'd still love him as an old man.  But I've worried about the opposite--will he love me as I change?  Will he still see me as me?

Let's be honest--in our society, men are given much more leeway with regard to aging.  It doesn't matter if it's fair or not, or if your spouse believes this or not, it is a simple fact--women aren't supposed to get old.  We're told this from our teen years--that being young, beautiful, and perfect in every way possible are basic requirements to not only getting, but keeping a man.  We all know as females and are warned early on that if the little "rush" our man gets when he sees a beautiful woman is bigger than the rush he gets for us, we're in trouble--or at least, we should be cautioned.  So, a lot of people have profited off this belief and fact in our world.  Just walk into any Dillard's or Nordies and look at all the freaking makeup--there's more of it than anything else in the store!  It is truly unreal how much money a woman can spend trying to look good for a man.  My band mate also mentioned the fact that when you age together as a couple, and you aren't blind to the reality of your own aging process, younger people just look like children to you.  He said, "Anyone in their right mind isn't attracted to someone to whom they could have given life."  I have to agree, totally.  If you aren't attracted to your own reasonable age group, your self awareness and identity are way off-base--sorry, just my opinion.

Matt and I recently took a trip down memory lane and looked at our old wedding photos.  We always end up in total laughter because we look like children playing dress-up in wedding attire--seriously!  It is actually rather sad to look at the two young, dumb kids standing there on that altar, smiling like they have it all figured out.  Boy, were we naive.  We had no clue what we were getting into or all that we were about to face!  But it is also pretty cool to look at the man I married and realize that he looks so much better to me today than he does in those pathetic wedding photos.  In those pictures, Matt is just a blind, dumb, teenage boy in love, who needs to gain about 30 pounds, is wearing a really bad tux, and who I no longer know.  But in reality today, he is so many greater, deeper things to me.  He is an intelligent, witty, charming, refined, driven, thoughtful, generous, educated, loving, gentle, joyful, content, God-fearing, confident, handsome man.  So, I get it.  I really get it.  When you truly love someone, and you watch them grow into a person of distinction, character, and immense quality, of course they only look better as the years pass--even as the outside appearance fades.  It's all that stuff underneath that gives enormous value to the attraction and the overall appearance.  I don't care how good looking someone is--if they are selfish, proud, arrogant, rude, cruel, and untrustworthy, their looks fade immediately.  The outside value will take you about as far as a day.

So though I sort of blew it for my devoted hubby's birthday this year in not making it some major celebration, I write this blog in his tribute.  T-bone, you are an amazing husband and father.  You are an immensely special person.  You are a Godly man who loves to serve the Lord with gladness--and that my friend, is divinely attractive.  You make me feel like a goddess, and you bring great security and joy to my heart and life.  I am reminded of the verse in Proverbs 5:18, "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Thank you, babe, for always doing that.  And happy birthday...you look amazing.







  

Discouraging Detours

We all like to think of our lives as being somewhat mapped out.  We chart our courses, make our plans, and hope to cheerfully arrive at our desired destinations after diligently working to stick to the directions laid out before us.  But sometimes, even without our realizing it, we end up on detours.  Most of us don't like detours--they are an annoyance.  When we come upon one in the literal sense, we usually grimace because they are typically unplanned, they are usually not simple or short, and we are faced with being late to our destination.  Detours throw a kink in our plans.  On top of all that, we feel our time is being wasted because the recommended, typical, and desired path is blocked, and we are forced to go distances we really don't want to go.

We end up on metaphorical detours in life, as well--chosen and unchosen.  Sometimes we purposefully take detours--maybe we are struggling to make a decision about something, so in an attempt to buy more time for ourselves, we lolly-gag around in avoidance, and waste time off the path on which we really need to be driving in order to arrive at our unique, particular destination (or worse, we aren't really that focused or driven to achieve it in the first place).  Other times, we find ourselves on a detour when we thought all along that we were on the main path toward our desired goal.  These are the tough ones--they can actually be pretty devastating.  We feel lost.  When we put our heart and soul into a plan, and find that our time was wasted and we got no closer to our desired destination, it is stifling to the spirit, to our vision, and to our hope. It just isn't fun or encouraging to face the reality that we've been driving around aimlessly on some dirt road when we've worked our tails off thinking we were on the straight and narrow turnpike working toward an ambitious venture with purpose.  And it is even less fun when others with whom we are working aren't truly focused or driven to achieve the goal and they force us to take detours with them without our approval.

So what do we do on an unwanted detour when we realize we are on one?  In the literal sense, we typically sigh and forge ahead to get ourselves back on the appropriate course to head toward our initial destination.  We try to keep our cool, rely on our determined focus, and revamp our time in accordance with the change of plans.  Maybe we even try to enjoy and appreciate the change of scenery, though this is not likely for those like me who would prefer to choose to enjoy a change of scenery at a more appropriate time (not have it forced upon them)!  For detours of the metaphorical nature, we need to do the same thing, but it is more excruciating and difficult for sure.  Detours of the metaphorical type affect much more important things in life than just adding a few minutes to our day.  They require an entire reassessment of our life, our plans, and at times, even our purpose.  They aren't typically just a few miles and we typically lose stuff that we've worked toward at the end of it all.  When we realize we've been on one of this kind, we've usually put some miles on the odometer, and we aren't pleased to face that we now have depreciated value or wear and tear from the journey!  Sometimes we find that we not only have been on a detour, but our particular detour wasn't even heading us in the right direction.  We've gone backwards and are farther from our destination. So then there is that issue of added grief with which to deal. 

I have recently found myself on such a detour.  Pouring my heart out to God, He reminded me of that timelessly true Scripture verse, Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  That verse has sustained me in many times of struggle, frustration, and when my perseverance, endurance, and hope are being severely tested.  God also showed me that when we choose to put ourselves on a detour due to disobedience, lack of focus or vision, or indecisiveness, we pay for that.  That is of our own choice and doing.  But when we are taken on one unknowingly, against our will, and have our time and energy stolen from us (time that He alone gives and should direct), God makes this right--it wasn't our fault.  He doesn't like it when we are deceived, blocked, tricked, used, or taken down detours that aren't in His will, either.  He doesn't like it when others aren't honest, do not stick to plans, or do not keep their commitments.  He doesn't like time-wasters.  He is as frustrated with them as we are.  God honors people who keep their word and do right by others.  He blesses those who are steadfast in their deeds and actions, are committed to purposes in life, are committed to others, and who help others achieve and head down paths that are fruitful for them.  He is pleased when our time is orderly because He is a God of both time and order.  He is also a planner--much planning went into the order of the universe, and all truly great things come out of thoughtful, extensive, creative planning.  All truly great things come from sticking to such plans, as well.  We can plan all we want in life, but if we never commit to any of those plans, we might as well lie on the couch with a bag of potato chips and call it a day.  If we have found ourselves on detours that we were dragged down blindly, we can rest assured that God will right the wrong.  We can also rest assured that He will bring purpose and meaning to that unwanted journey, even if we don't see much initially.  He has a way of blessing us on those undesired detours and will shed light, in time, on things we cannot see.  He can also speed up our later journeys to make up for the time we lost being taken on an unwanted detour.  God is faithful and He can be trusted with our plans, time, and life's journey. 

I also believe wholeheartedly that God uses detours in accordance with His will.  Maybe He was protecting us from something else.  Perhaps He was growing us in some area for a bigger and much better purpose down the proper road (our main, toll road of life).  Maybe He had to "buy time" Himself so that He could align us with something or someone who wouldn't be driving along our desired path at the right time if He hadn't detoured us for that later, bigger purpose.  We also meet lots of interesting people on detours and at intersections along the way--people who feed and bless us, and maybe that was the whole point.  We also must remember that we all face delays and obstacles whenever we are seeking to arrive at a great destination.  Nothing really good or noble ever comes easily, and we all know God loves to test our faith (trust), our patience, and our endurance.  In fact, I am convinced that those are the three most frequent tests we all have in life (well, you could easily add tests of "love" to the mix, too)!  But we can rest assured that God always puts His children on the right path when they are truly seeking His will and His destination for them.  If we are seeking our own will and our own destination, and either of those are not in line with His ultimate desire for us or are in conflict with His will, we are bound to end up on many detours.  If we are His children, He isn't going to put us on the toll road of life if we are we're headed in the wrong direction.  He'll use detours to get us in line again.  Sometimes it feels as though God is like "Suri," the annoying lady on our iPhones, restating to us that we aren't following the perfect directions given, and that our plans are now going to be recalculated and remapped!  But most of the time, I believe detours are God-ordained.  He uses them and they aren't always a bad thing.  

The main thing God has shown me the past couple of days as I face yet another detour, is that He wants nothing more than for me to arrive at my goals, desires, and proper destinations in a timely fashion.  He isn't trying to be my arch nemesis or my adversary by allowing detours in my life.  He isn't trying to stifle and constrict me--even if other people are allowed time and space to do so temporarily.  He wants the best for me and for my life--His best.  He also knows intimately my desires and dreams.  He knows my afflictions and passions, and He isn't avoiding me.   So I pray--hard.  I persist with much endurance and perseverance.  First, I pray for God to remove any desires in my heart for things not in accordance with His perfect will for my life.  I make it clearly known to Him that I want Him to give me the desire for only what He wants for my life--this includes my plans, goals, and other people (because people can drain our time and energy, and can keep us on detours in dirt-road bondage causing us to spin our wheels incessantly and preventing us from accomplishing anything). Other people can also piously try to make their own goals and destination become our goals and destination, when that is not our charted path or journey--God hates that, and He alone will decide.  Secondly, I ask Him to give me wisdom, patience, endurance, and strength to chart my new map and my new plan in order to get myself on the right road headed in the right direction.  This includes bringing the right people into my life to help me along my path--my true, destined sojourners.  Third, I ask Him to bring discernment, peace, and understanding to my life as I seek to protect myself from further detours.  I ask Him to shelter and protect me from things and people that will steal my time, energy, and efforts fruitlessly and aimlessly.  I ask Him for guidance and wisdom in seeing any red flags along my path so as to avoid anything and anyone that raises them.  Fourth, I ask Him to bless my efforts, my energies, and my time, and to bring fruitful blessing and profit from it.   And I exert much faith and hope that He hears me, and hasn't given up on me and my dreams.  

I saw a couple of quotes the other day that really stuck with me.  One was by Napoleon Hill and said, "A goal is a dream with a deadline."  I loved that.  No one accomplishes anything in life without deadlines. Dreams are just illusions without plans and deadlines.  Another said, "Look for the dream that keeps coming back.  It is your destiny."  There are a couple of "dreams" for which I am praying for my life right now.  They are things I desire greatly for God to bring to fruition and restoration in my life.  One prayer item is afflicting me so much that I find myself asking Him daily to just remove the desire if it is never going to happen or if my asking Him for it is in vain and void of any hope.  It's been nearly two years now and He just won't remove it.  It just keeps coming back--unwanted even, at times.  I believe there is a reason for this. I also fully believe that when someone has an ability or gift coupled with a big passion or desire to use it, there is a reason for that, too.  God gives both gifts and passions, and He desires to use those for our benefit and His glory.  He has big plans for each of us if we'll only trust Him on both the toll roads and detours of our lives.  He wants us to enjoy the journey, too.  Pray on...

Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

Psalms 34:7, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

The Landlord's Coming

I got the great honor of hearing Karl Rove speak at Matt's KLA Convention last night.  He gave an incredible, powerful, lengthy address to the group, and pretty much confirmed what we all already know--that our nation is going to hell in a hand basket woven by the Chinese (among other countries to whom we've sold the farm).  We're basically on our way to becoming the next Greece (though beautiful, it isn't really much of a nation anymore, and has a great deal of problems and financial hardships now).  Although it was great to hear him speak and meet him in person, I am feeling pretty discouraged today for my daughter and my future grandchildren (just as I was on Nov. 3).  Kind of a lot to take in when it comes directly from such a credible source.  Funny how you can read the newspaper, watch the news, and hear the same things, but when it comes to you in person via a former Chief of Staff to a president, it soaks in much more harshly and truthfully.  (My husband would argue that I get just as upset after watching, "Fox News," for any length of time)! 

I am utterly convinced that the majority of Americans are totally clueless as to our real financial situation.  Our government is basically check kiting and giving entitlements to people with money we don't have.  It doesn't matter what political party you fall under, everyone knows that when you don't have the money, you don't spend it, regardless of your goodwill, the desire, or the "need."  I'd like to be able to buy my son-in-law and daughter their first home, and I'm sure it would help them out a great deal since they are just starting out in their life together.  But I'm sure not going to go give them all my money so that then they have the burden of caring for me in my old age OR worse, take out a loan to do it (and then, not even consider how in the heck I'd pay it back)!  It's just not common sense to spend or give anyone anything if the money isn't there.  Our government is currently "robbing Peter to pay Paul," and if it continues, in Mr. Rove's words, "we're going to fall off the fiscal cliff very soon" (and to add insult to severe injury, our creditors don't exactly love us).

So what do we do?  What hope do we have?  First, we pray--a lot.  You may think that sounds silly or trite, but I believe in the power of prayer.  Look at Israel--they are a nation the size of postage stamp and God has protected them from being utterly blown off the map for decades.  Secondly, we VOTE (less than half of registered voters in the nation who profess to be "Christians" voted in the previous election).  You sure can't complain about our nation if you aren't getting off your duff and voting (and Christians like to complain A LOT about how bad things are in our country.  I AM a Christian, but I vote, so I get to complain)!  At this point in the game, we need to elect people into office who possess honest fiscal sense, seriously workable job growth ideas, and financial problem solving abilities (regardless of their religion, their stance on social issues, or whether you like them as a person or not--if we lose our country because we can't pay our bills, it isn't gonna matter what your social beliefs are OR what your religious faith is)!  Everyone is going to have to see this and give a little or we're sunk.  And BTW, I admit I am a registered Republican, but only so I can vote in primaries.  In actuality, I am a Libertarian, so this rant isn't about party whatsoever--in fact, I've never been more ticked-off at The Republican Party in my life (and my husband would say I lean more left on the "bleeding heart" issues than I care to admit)!  But that's another blog post.  I've also never been more aware of what an incredibly gifted leader Bill Clinton was--a Democrat who helped the needy AND balanced the budget.  Wow.  He was almost anointed (okay, I realize I'm taking that a little far). 

But seriously, this rant of mine is about me being worried for the first time in my adult life that my country won't always be the country I've known--that it could actually be taken away from all of us.  That all the lives (and there have been some) that have been lost in the name of liberty and freedom could be lost in vain.  I've never really thought before now about the fact that our Constitution and Bill of Rights are just pieces of paper.  Yes, they are in "locked-down," cases of preservation in the National Archives, but it indirectly takes money to keep them there.  It also takes money to defend them.  They aren't invincible.  So all else aside, we have to vote in the years to come with this one truth in mind.  Sadly, as always seems to be the case, it all comes down to money--and our voting over the next 50 years needs to show that we realize this and the seriousness of our current situation.  There is too much at stake, and we have to get over the idea that we can give to anyone and everyone with money we don't actually have.  We have to seriously view our government's bank account just as we do our own personal one (or at least, how most of us do).  We have to stop viewing the government as an endless pocketbook of entitlements.  We've basically been at war for over 11 years now, and honestly, we're going to be reeling from that alone for quite a while.  It doesn't matter how big your heart is if your brain is on vacation--if we don't have it to give, we can't give it!  The end result of doing so is that the needy end up in worse shape when it all goes belly up anyway.  If we lose our nation to another country who has had it with carrying our debt load, we all go broke.  We are an utter joke to these nations to whom we owe.  They don't even want our dollars anymore and are currently unloading them at a record rate.  And now, four more years of unprecedented, extreme spending...ay yai yai...

Karl Rove has a great article in the WSJ this morning--give it a read.  He is a great patriot and his personal story is one of the "American kind"--he didn't come from much and ended up working in the White House! And give our nation a prayer, too:  "Please dear God, help and protect our country.  And help us to get off our rumps and vote as informed, concerned citizens who love this nation and who are not being blind-sided to the realities we are facing.  Amen."